D4 residents in Uri Gellar bent spoon row

Irate D4 residents voiced their anger today at Uri Gellar in what they described as an unprovoked attack on cutlery in the posh Dublin suburb.

Thousands of phone calls jammed the lines of radio stations as residents complained to anyone who would listen - Joe Duffy - at the visit to Lansdowne Road yesterday of Uri Gellar, the famous Israeli spoon bender turned good vibes and positive thinking guru.

Gellar visited the Old stadium yesterday to spread some good vibes and positive thinking in a bid to assist a hapless Irish soccer team to victory over the watching making country of Switzerland.

Speaking to anyone who would listen - crap RTE programmes - Gellar urged the Irish people to put their hands together and shout "win Ireland, win".

He did offer some health and safety precautions to those driving vehicles and said maybe drivers should only take one hand off the wheel and touch the radio and say the chant. We don’t want anyone to crash during the chanting as that would only spread bad vibes.

However, Gellars good intentions towards the Irish football team cut no ice with the perennially angry, moany residents of Ballsbridge and its environs.

One angry caller to a radio show complained: "Gellar’s just a menace to decent residents. He says he doesn’t bend spoons anymore, but, that’s clearly a lie.

"The silver spoon that was in my mouth when I was born and which is the centre piece on my sideboard display is bent out of all proportion," said Ms Mona Lott.

"He should be trying to help Israel qualify anyway. And what’s this I hear about him going to be flying around in a helicopter in a bid to send positive thoughts to the Irish team. What’s going to happen to the rotor blades on the helicopter?" she asked.

Local hardware stores in the D4 area have reported a big increase in lead sales as residents attempt to protect their cutlery from Gellars amazing powers.