Three cheers for the dark side

Spudnik has always wondered what would have happened if young Luke Skywalker had gone over to the Dark Side of the Force. Until he came along, the Dark Side seemed to be doing quite well thank you very much.

His lordship, that cheeky little scamp Darth Vader, may well have been right, when saying that father and son could have taken over the galaxy. Sure they wouldn't have even needed that old decrepit evil emperor to spoil all their joyful romping around from quadrant to quadrant.

But what if the Dark Side was an option we all could take? Would you move over to the Dark Side? Spudnik certainly would.

Imagine that you are on crowded bus mid-winter. The lashing rain outside is being propelled against the side of the vehicle to make it seem like it's hurricane Freddie Kruger outside.

Inside it's worse. Everyone has sniffles, coughs or some sort of winter-related ailment which can spread more easily than margarine. A young child already whimpering about going to McDonalds bursts out into a gnarled cry of rage at not being granted his request. The old age pensioners are all jostling for position right beside the driver causing a severe obstruction to passengers alighting and leaving the bus.

Now if one were to be an exponent of the Dark Side, then one could immediately do something about one's discomfort. When Lord Vader was annoyed by one of his minions he merely stretched out his hand into the air and his victim started to suffocate.

Now, one hand out in the air might not work for everyone on the bus but if one were to stretch out one's arms, then one might be able to achieve the objective. Kind of like a group hug but just a tad more nasty.

Of course old Obi Wan wouldn't be too impressed. All that wasted training just so one's discomfort on a bus could be alleviated.

Spudnik says Obi Wan can just go and feck off. Spudnik wants to have fun and quite frankly a life filled with the debauchery of the Dark Side looks a lot more appealing than the goody-goody life on the good, but not a very exciting, side.

So the next time you are on the bus, or any other situation where you are suffering massive discomfort as a result of your "fellow" man, woman, or child, just reach out, feel the Dark Side surge through your veins, embrace its pure evilness and put an end to your suffering.