Seamus Shenanigans: An Irishman's politician

The Minister for All Sorts Seamus Shenanigans, admitted that he never paid a ‘red cent’ for any of his garden furniture which adorns his house in Knobber, Co Meath, the tribunal for codology heard today.


His garden contains over 3,000 items of garden furniture, of which, 1,750 are garden gnomes. The tribunal is trying to ascertain whether the Minister received the furniture donations in lieu of ‘political favours’ or were they, as the Minster maintains, legitimate political donations.

Counsel for the tribunal, Mr Han di Monay SC, put it to Mr Shenanigans that it could hardly be a coincidence that an associate of the Ministers in the gnome trade, Mr Con Marchant, gave the Minster 957 gnomes the day after he received a fishing license, while Mr Shenanigans was Minister for the Marine at the time.

Mr Shenanigans replied: "That was all it was. A simple coincidence. Nothing more, nothing less. Con knows I’ve a penchant for garden furniture, especially gnomes. I’ve won the Knobber garden furniture of the year award 10 years running now. That means a lot to me."

"I’m grateful to all my supporters who donated gnomes and other garden paraphernalia over the years. They were all just political donations and nothing more," he added.

Mr di Monay SC asked the Minister why, if all the gnomes were political donations, did he not declare a giant gnome measuring 25 metres in height. The Minister said he could not be expected to keep account of all the gnomes and furniture in his garden although, he did admit that each gnome had a name.