Make up department in RTE comes under fire as Charlie Bird called 'orange bastard'

The make-up department in RTE has come under fire from TV chiefs for "making our broadcast staff look like orange bastards". Ruling Manderins at the semi-state broadcaster are said to be furious that chief news correspondent Charlie Bird was targeted by rioters in Dublin city centre on Saturday who called the journalist an "orange bastard".

The clearly emotional Bird was punched and then chased as he tried to escape the racists.

"I wasn't born orange you know. These racists took their anger out on me because of a mistake in the blending of rouge and foundation back in the RTE make-up department," said a tearful Bird as the eyliner ran down his bruised and blackened cheeks.

"I just feel so sorry for those in the North who are born with this natural affliction. Poor bast...I mean sods," added a highly charged Bird.

When the head satsuma on the RTE non-elected-government-appointed-no-conflict-of-interest-authority heard of the violence dished out to one of the news department he said: "We're fed up with the constant cock ups from the make-up department. One minute you can't see our broadcasters's for the bad lighting, the next, they're all fucking tangoed. It looks like we're broadcasting out of Umpa Lumpa land," said an irate Han di Monay.

Mr di Monay said that he personally would look into the so-called jobs for the "Foxrock girls" in the make-up and morkeshing departments at the beleagured station.

"All these young ones who are coming in from UCD are taking real jobs away from young men. It's got to stop...Are ye right Sharon," Mr di Monay said from his coupe before he sped away with the young blonde for the weekend.

A whole tranch of RTE broadcasters and presenters could not be contacted for comment from their hospital beds in St Vincents at the weekend, although Marion Finucane refused to confirm or deny she said "up the Raa" at Saturday's riots. Riiiiight!

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Is it love or hate coming to town in tomorrow’s Love Ulster parade

There appear to be mixed messages coming from the organiser’s of tomorrow’s Love Ulster parade in Dublin. Organiser Willie Frazer originally said that the parade was intended "to convey the message about how our relatives died at the hands of the IRA."

Today, speaking on RTE, he said the parade was to show "unionist culture" to the people of Dublin.

Yesterday, in the Daily Ireland newspaper he said that he would not stop anyone on the march from carrying posters of a man allegedly involved in the 1974 Dublin bombings that killed 26 people.

"I can’t give a guarantee a photograph of Robert McConnell will not be carried because I wouldn’t be against anyone carrying Robert’s photograph," said Mr Frazer.

Before adding: "Anybody I know who knew Robert would say there is no way he was involved in anything. He was involved with the security forces and he helped the SAS and stuff like that but a lot of people would say that was just part of his job."

At the end of January Frazer said this: ""We do not want to bring Dublin to a standstill, nor cause offence, and we hope we will be allowed to walk peacefully in Dublin to convey the message about how our relatives died at the hands of the IRA."

Tell me this Mr Frazer, if you don’t want to cause offence, whey would you allow marchers to carry posters of a man allegedly involved in the 1974 bombings?

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